The Most Chivalrous Man In The World…



  • he can stare directly into the sun.

    he begins fights with his helmet off, so he can stare down his opponents.

    he once shot an arrow into space.

    if he were ever to run out of stamina, his foes will have already died from exhaustion.

    meade travels through his veins, rather than blood.

    laughter IS his battlecry.

    he plays in 8v8 tournaments by himself.

    he doesn’t push the cart, the cart pushes him.

    he does not need a battering ram to smash the gates, his gaze causes the doors to fall of the hinges, but his fists work too.

    he does not need an ammo box, he carries all of the ammo.

    his attacks are unblockable.

    he never tires of meade, and his thirst for blood is quenched.

    his ping is always 0. sometimes, it goes negative.

    he has never been votekicked, servers do not allow it.

    his sheer power has straightened the flail tracer.

    shields break upon his strikes.

    he once kicked a man through a castle wall.

    attacks cannot hit him while taunting.

    he cannot be tricked by feints.

    his sword strikes can continue endlessly, until he wants them to end.

    women cannot warm his bed more than it already is, but many have tried.

    his rank is as high as the game will allow.

    his veteran helmets would work, if he wore them.

    he doesn’t wind up attacks, you only die.

    he has no need for catapults, as he can hurl boulders.

    he can use the buckler shield effectively.

    teams cannot be auto-balanced, there aren’t enough slots on the opposing team.

    he prates and hoists at the same time.

    he smells like a man.

    he has no friends on steam, only enemies.

    he can break catapult rocks from the sky.

    sometimes, he duel weilds mauls… for the exercise.

    ballista spears do not penetrate his shield.

    he died once, just to see what it was like.

    HE IS… the most chivalrous man in the world!



  • 10/10


  • Global Moderator

    Hacker.



  • and he is… that dude.



  • Once he nearly broke a sweat.

    He is both Argon and Malric. This war was his idea.

    The objectives in darkforest make sense to him.

    He is good with the double-axe.



  • He does not use bows, for he just spits arrows at his enemies.

    He can burn the farm with his breath.

    He starts his day in the arena by jumping into the pit, climbing out, launching himself into the spikes and then taking a shower in the flames.

    He likes to swim in the lava of the Citadel map.

    He can still grunt.



  • I should sticky this just for being made of pure untempered awesome.



  • the original idea was by lg | Heightofabsurdity, trying to make chivalry jokes that related to chuck norris… kind of failed on reddit. I took it in a different direction with the most interesting man in the world… all of my lines are original to me and not taken from his post… but his idea was what inspired me so i have to give some due credit here as well.

    Also, the idea is that people can have fun by adding their own lines in if they choose!



  • Well it’s obvious.

    The Most Chivalrous Man in the World is Chuck Norris.



  • @King:

    I should sticky this just for being made of pure untempered awesome.

    you really should 8-)



  • When you try to chase him, he gets faster.

    He carries both flags at the same time.

    He strikes with the hook of the Halberd.

    He does not feint, he convinces you you shouldnt block.

    He drinks corpse-flavored water.

    He held off the Tenosian counter-attack.

    When he drinks meade in the tavern, you get dizzy.

    His strikes can bring peasants back to live.

    He hits you with the actual Morning Star.

    His fellow players tell him how nice his mother is.

    I am not the most chivalrous man in the world, I am just a tribute.



  • When he takes off his helmet, he has another helmet beneath that.

    He once sneezed next to the Hillside Pyre and knocked down a city wall.

    He once survived and won a round of Citadel as King Malric.

    Weapons are drawn to him, friendly or enemy, yet they will never land a hit.



  • @Don_Kanaille:

    When you try to chase him, he gets faster.

    He does not feint, he convinces you you shouldnt block.

    I really like these two… hahaha



  • his attacks are unblockable.

    So he knows how to use Alt-LMB with 1 handers?



  • Nice, very funny claton.

    He keeps the black plague out of chivalry.



  • No one’s mead is on him.

    Even without a beard, the Mason MaA knows he is a man.

    Shaft is his favorite duel map ('cause he is a bad mutha).

    He uses a ballista on Hillside to fire at the palisade on Citadel.

    He can use a heater shield with flails.



  • He can destroy trebuchets by himself.

    He knows Battlegrounds’ third objective.

    He has never teamkilled, even with the catapult.

    He knows the precise hitbox and hitframes of burning oil.

    He can sink the Mason ships with his longbow.

    Whenever he breaks the gates on Stoneshill or Citadel, the king may then surrender his crown to him, and is advised to do so.

    Under his leadership, filthy peasants organize themselves to fight back against the masons.

    When defending, he can push carts backwards.

    When he uses a ballista, it never glitches out.

    HE IS… the most chivalrous man in the world.



  • @RushSecond:

    He knows Battlegrounds’ third objective.

    … kill the bird?



  • @Don_Kanaille:

    @RushSecond:

    He knows Battlegrounds’ third objective.

    … kill the bird?

    Yep! Since the Masons have an eagle as their coat of arms, surely they will lose morale if their bird is slain!

    (btw, I seem to be the only one who liked that bird…)



  • @SavageBeatings:

    @Don_Kanaille:

    @RushSecond:

    He knows Battlegrounds’ third objective.

    … kill the bird?

    Yep! Since the Masons have an eagle as their coat of arms, surely they will lose morale if their bird is slain!

    (btw, I seem to be the only one who liked that bird…)

    I liked it but it needed a big time nerf. A screech every once in a while is fine.


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