[CLOSED] July Contest - Poems.

Keith

Welcome all to July’s contest. Last month, Sone9 and Rayo55 came out on top in the video competition because they were the only ones that entered. Due to being really busy lately, I’m a little late on this month’s contest. So I decided to go with something that wouldn’t require a lot of time.

This month is all about poems. It could be funny, sad, personal, a story, etc, as long as it’s a poem. Like all contests before it, the poem does have to relate to Chivalry in some way.

Rules:

Only ONE poem per player. Once you submit your poem, that will be your only chance so make sure it’s exactly what you want and DON’T forget to edit.

This contest will end Sunday, August 3rd at 12pm EST. The winners will be announced the following day or two. The contest is open to anyone.

If anyone would like to be a judge, please send me a PM. However, if you are a judge, you do become ineligible to submit a poem.

Prizes:

The prizes will be awarded based on winner’s choice. First place gets first pick, second place gets second pick and third place gets the remaining prize.

This time, I’m not exactly sure what the prizes will be. I’ll probably randomly pick 3 Steam games.

I wish you all the best of luck. Start putting your thinking caps on and lets see if you can rhyme your way to victory!

DokB

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You smell like a woman
Yabba dabba doo

I accept paypal donations btw

Kimiko

@DokB:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You smell like a woman
Yabba dabba doo

I accept paypal donations btw

Lolol oh my this is so good, might as well stop the contest now!

Keith

@Kimiko:

@DokB:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You smell like a woman
Yabba dabba doo

I accept paypal donations btw

Lolol oh my this is so good, might as well stop the contest now!

That’s it. It’s over. We have a winner. This was so amazing that you officially became the winner for every contest I ever hold.

AndreaTheArcher

@DokB:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You smell like a woman
Yabba dabba doo

I accept paypal donations btw

ahahahah so far it’s the best we can get but let me join you XD

Around my head I wrapped
a yellow bandana,
then walked into the market
like an over-sized banana.
I filled a cart with every
banana in the store,
and when I’d gotten all of them
I headed for the door.

dudeface

SECOND PLACE IS STILL UP FOR GRABS

–----------------------------------------------

Oh Lord of crushed skulls
Bless this righteous maul,
Unto each knight’s head
Shall your judgement fall

Oh Lord of hunting worms
Bless for me this zweihander
To smoke out all archers
To strike them down with candor

Oh Lord of overpowering
Bless for me this brandistock
They thought they had me cornered
But got a 180 in their buttock

Oh Lord of the Farcical
Relieve my bardiche of its guilt
Why hit them with the blade
When I can kill them with the hilt

HeightofAbsurdity

FFA
Sanguine streaks stain sand
In the max ragdoll count wake
HalBerd is the Word

.45
Talons set to maim
Eschewed for bitchslapping swings
All hail Balancestock

V Spam
Dodge dip duck dive and
Dodge arrow and attacker
Out of stam. Oh shit.

Duels
It feels like no one plays the official duel mode. Why did it get the Shaft?

Sidewinder

I had no idea this existed. Here’s my poem that I just extracted from a post I did yesterday trying to encapsulate the average forum poster’s perspective on things.

**
DerpKing’s Lament**

_**Woe is me, woe is me.

They done nerfed my spear’s LMB.

The knockback’s been changed, how will I fare?

I threatened to quit be they don’t seem to care!

Why won’t they listen? I spent a whole week,

Perfecting my lookdowns to demolish the meek.

How can I pubstomp if I can’t combo-feint?

Game is so slow, competitive this ain’t.

And now customization, is this TF2?

Microtransactions!? What next will they do!?

The end is at hand, good riddance I say

I don’t want pink knights, do you hear me? That’s gay!**_

Calos112

The smoke finally rises to the top leaves of the darkforest, and no enemies near or far,

With the broadsword in hand I wonder “How long do I have to push this damn cart?”

Rolling down the meadow’s path with everyone on edge,

Peering over every bush, around every tree, behind every hedge,

A chill shudders down my spine with that dreadful sound that I hear,

The close running footsteps of enemies coming from the rear,

Must turn quickly, adversaries we must face,

As we all engage the battle picks up the pace,

Vanquish one down, two down, and then I look a little farther,

Frozen in place and guess what I see, another fucking archer!

Now the gurgling sound of the blood rushing out my throat, becomes my lullaby,

OBJECTIVE FAILED, scream at my screen, rage quit, fuck it, goodbye till next time.

User

User has won!

gregcau

[image:1ln0hinh]http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h285/boo_boo221/Sexy/FlirtyPoem.jpg[/image:1ln0hinh]

Calos112

I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

DokB

@Calos112:

I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

Are you calling my poem a joke? :x How dare you.

Kimiko

Definitely not a joke thread or this thread would have been closed already.

Some people just like to keep things like and “interesting” :P

Calos112

@DokB:

@Calos112:

I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

Are you calling my poem a joke? :x How dare you.

No I was talking about everyone else’s not yours ofcourse :D

User

This is my actual serious poem entry: Fortnight at Helm’s Deep By: User. Grey oh grey, [Abo-ve] the [ro -ses] B3 B3 F#4 [F#4> E4] B3 [D4>C#4] Roaring thunder, [stri - king] low A3 E4 [ E4 > D4 > F#3 ] B3 Wrought in iron, [cla-ded] [bro-thers] E3 E3 E4 [E4 > D4 > G#3] [C#4 > B3] Standing fierce, as [da-n-ger] [gr-ow] G3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 > C#4 ] [ B3 > A#3 ] There among-st them, [S-i-re] [Bis-cuit] B3 B3 F#4 [F#4 > E4 > B3 ] [ D4 > C#4 ] Who had killed thrice [fo-ld] his team A3 A3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 ] F#3 B3 Ever vigil [to] his [out-post] E3 E4 [E4 > D4] G#3 [C#4 > B3] As the [ma-son] [for-ces] [Br-im] G3 G3 [ D4 > E4 ] [D4 > C#4] [B3 > A#3] And the gates held [sh-ut] to [Mal-ric] F#4 F#4 B4 B4 [ B4 > A4 ] D#4 [G#4 > F#4] As the tower bells would sound A4 A4 A4 G#4 E4 E4 So did helm’s deep stood [a fortnight] <Drag & Pause> D4 C#4 B3 A#3 B3 [G4 ……] 'Fore [fall-ing] to the ground! G4 [F#4 > B3] C#4 A3 A#3 Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below: <a href=“https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep” target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep</a> Per sire biscuits request, the poem was added with more TK.

gregcau

@User:

Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:
https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep

I think you need to record yourself singing it FTW

User

@gregcau:

…

I would when it would be contest of singing your own poems.
Thankfully enough its just about writing a poem so I wrote one.

Biscuit_buddy

@User: <blockquote>This is my actual serious poem entry: Fortnight at Helm’s Deep By: User. Grey oh grey, [Abo-ve] the [ro -ses] B3 B3 F#4 [F#4> E4] B3 [D4>C#4] Roaring thunder, [stri - king] low A3 E4 [ E4 > D4 > F#3 ] B3 Wrought in iron, [cla-ded] [bro-thers] E3 E3 E4 [E4 > D4 > G#3] [C#4 > B3] Standing fierce, as [da-n-ger] [gr-ow] G3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 > C#4 ] [ B3 > A#3 ] There among-st them, [S-i-re] [Bis-cuit] B3 B3 F#4 [F#4 > E4 > B3 ] [ D4 > C#4 ] Who had lost thrice [fo-ld] o’ men A3 A3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 ] F#3 B3 Ever vigil [to] his [out-post] E3 E4 [E4 > D4] G#3 [C#4 > B3] As the [ma-son] [for-ces] [rei-gn] G3 G3 [ D4 > E4 ] [D4 > C#4] [B3 > A#3] And the gates held [sh-ut] to [Mal-ric] F#4 F#4 B4 B4 [ B4 > A4 ] D#4 [G#4 > F#4] As the tower bells would sound A4 A4 A4 G#4 E4 E4 So did helm’s deep stood [a fortnight] <Drag & Pause> D4 C#4 B3 A#3 B3 [G4 ……] 'Fore [fall-ing] to the ground! G4 [F#4 > B3] C#4 A3 A#3 Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below: <a href=“https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep” target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep</a></blockquote>Your poem needs more TK.

User

@Biscuit_buddy:

…

Fixed milord.