[CLOSED] July Contest - Poems.



  • Welcome all to July’s contest. Last month, Sone9 and Rayo55 came out on top in the video competition because they were the only ones that entered. Due to being really busy lately, I’m a little late on this month’s contest. So I decided to go with something that wouldn’t require a lot of time.

    This month is all about poems. It could be funny, sad, personal, a story, etc, as long as it’s a poem. Like all contests before it, the poem does have to relate to Chivalry in some way.

    Rules:

    Only ONE poem per player. Once you submit your poem, that will be your only chance so make sure it’s exactly what you want and DON’T forget to edit.

    This contest will end Sunday, August 3rd at 12pm EST. The winners will be announced the following day or two. The contest is open to anyone.

    If anyone would like to be a judge, please send me a PM. However, if you are a judge, you do become ineligible to submit a poem.

    Prizes:

    The prizes will be awarded based on winner’s choice. First place gets first pick, second place gets second pick and third place gets the remaining prize.

    This time, I’m not exactly sure what the prizes will be. I’ll probably randomly pick 3 Steam games.

    I wish you all the best of luck. Start putting your thinking caps on and lets see if you can rhyme your way to victory!



  • Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw



  • @DokB:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw

    Lolol oh my this is so good, might as well stop the contest now!



  • @Kimiko:

    @DokB:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw

    Lolol oh my this is so good, might as well stop the contest now!

    That’s it. It’s over. We have a winner. This was so amazing that you officially became the winner for every contest I ever hold.



  • @DokB:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw

    ahahahah so far it’s the best we can get but let me join you XD

    Around my head I wrapped
    a yellow bandana,
    then walked into the market
    like an over-sized banana.
    I filled a cart with every
    banana in the store,
    and when I’d gotten all of them
    I headed for the door.



  • SECOND PLACE IS STILL UP FOR GRABS

    –----------------------------------------------

    Oh Lord of crushed skulls
    Bless this righteous maul,
    Unto each knight’s head
    Shall your judgement fall

    Oh Lord of hunting worms
    Bless for me this zweihander
    To smoke out all archers
    To strike them down with candor

    Oh Lord of overpowering
    Bless for me this brandistock
    They thought they had me cornered
    But got a 180 in their buttock

    Oh Lord of the Farcical
    Relieve my bardiche of its guilt
    Why hit them with the blade
    When I can kill them with the hilt



  • FFA
    Sanguine streaks stain sand
    In the max ragdoll count wake
    HalBerd is the Word

    .45
    Talons set to maim
    Eschewed for bitchslapping swings
    All hail Balancestock

    V Spam
    Dodge dip duck dive and
    Dodge arrow and attacker
    Out of stam. Oh shit.

    Duels
    It feels like no one plays the official duel mode. Why did it get the Shaft?



  • I had no idea this existed. Here’s my poem that I just extracted from a post I did yesterday trying to encapsulate the average forum poster’s perspective on things.

    **
    DerpKing’s Lament**

    _**Woe is me, woe is me.

    They done nerfed my spear’s LMB.

    The knockback’s been changed, how will I fare?

    I threatened to quit be they don’t seem to care!

    Why won’t they listen? I spent a whole week,

    Perfecting my lookdowns to demolish the meek.

    How can I pubstomp if I can’t combo-feint?

    Game is so slow, competitive this ain’t.

    And now customization, is this TF2?

    Microtransactions!? What next will they do!?

    The end is at hand, good riddance I say

    I don’t want pink knights, do you hear me? That’s gay!**_



  • The smoke finally rises to the top leaves of the darkforest, and no enemies near or far,

    With the broadsword in hand I wonder “How long do I have to push this damn cart?”

    Rolling down the meadow’s path with everyone on edge,

    Peering over every bush, around every tree, behind every hedge,

    A chill shudders down my spine with that dreadful sound that I hear,

    The close running footsteps of enemies coming from the rear,

    Must turn quickly, adversaries we must face,

    As we all engage the battle picks up the pace,

    Vanquish one down, two down, and then I look a little farther,

    Frozen in place and guess what I see, another fucking archer!

    Now the gurgling sound of the blood rushing out my throat, becomes my lullaby,

    OBJECTIVE FAILED, scream at my screen, rage quit, fuck it, goodbye till next time.


  • Mod

    User has won!





  • I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)



  • @Calos112:

    I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

    Are you calling my poem a joke? :x How dare you.



  • Definitely not a joke thread or this thread would have been closed already.

    Some people just like to keep things like and “interesting” :P



  • @DokB:

    @Calos112:

    I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

    Are you calling my poem a joke? :x How dare you.

    No I was talking about everyone else’s not yours ofcourse :D


  • Mod

    This is my actual serious poem entry:<br />Fortnight at Helm’s Deep<br />By: User.<br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Grey oh grey, [Abo-ve] the [ro -ses]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4> E4] B3 [D4>C#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Roaring thunder, [stri - king] low</span><br /><strong>A3 E4 [ E4 > D4 > F#3 ] B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Wrought in iron, [cla-ded] [bro-thers]</span><br /><strong>E3 E3 E4 [E4 > D4 > G#3] [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Standing fierce, as [da-n-ger] [gr-ow]</span><br /><strong>G3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 > C#4 ] [ B3 > A#3 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>There among-st them, [S-i-re] [Bis-cuit]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4 > E4 > B3 ] [ D4 > C#4 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Who had <em>killed </em>thrice [fo-ld] <em>his team</em></span><br /><strong>A3 A3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 ] F#3 B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Ever vigil [to] his [out-post]</span><br /><strong>E3 E4 [E4 > D4] G#3 [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the [ma-son] [for-ces] [Br-im]</span><br /><strong>G3 G3 [ D4 > E4 ] [D4 > C#4] [B3 > A#3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>And the gates held [sh-ut] to [Mal-ric]</span><br /><strong>F#4 F#4 B4 B4 [ B4 > A4 ] D#4 [G#4 > F#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the tower bells would sound</span><br /><strong>A4 A4 A4 G#4 E4 E4</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>So did helm’s deep stood [a fortnight] <Drag & Pause></span><br /><strong>D4 C#4 B3 A#3 B3 [G4 ……]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>'Fore [fall-ing] to the ground!</span><br /><strong>G4 [F#4 > B3] C#4 A3 A#3</strong><br /><br /><strong>Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:</strong><br /><a href=“https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep” target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep</a><br /><br /><strong>Per sire biscuits request, the poem was added with more TK.</strong>



  • @User:

    Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:
    https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep

    I think you need to record yourself singing it FTW


  • Mod

    @gregcau:

    I would when it would be contest of singing your own poems.
    Thankfully enough its just about writing a poem so I wrote one.



  • <small>@User:</small><br><blockquote>This is my actual serious poem entry:<br />Fortnight at Helm’s Deep<br />By: User.<br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Grey oh grey, [Abo-ve] the [ro -ses]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4> E4] B3 [D4>C#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Roaring thunder, [stri - king] low</span><br /><strong>A3 E4 [ E4 > D4 > F#3 ] B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Wrought in iron, [cla-ded] [bro-thers]</span><br /><strong>E3 E3 E4 [E4 > D4 > G#3] [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Standing fierce, as [da-n-ger] [gr-ow]</span><br /><strong>G3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 > C#4 ] [ B3 > A#3 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>There among-st them, [S-i-re] [Bis-cuit]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4 > E4 > B3 ] [ D4 > C#4 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Who had lost thrice [fo-ld] o’ men</span><br /><strong>A3 A3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 ] F#3 B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Ever vigil [to] his [out-post]</span><br /><strong>E3 E4 [E4 > D4] G#3 [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the [ma-son] [for-ces] [rei-gn]</span><br /><strong>G3 G3 [ D4 > E4 ] [D4 > C#4] [B3 > A#3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>And the gates held [sh-ut] to [Mal-ric]</span><br /><strong>F#4 F#4 B4 B4 [ B4 > A4 ] D#4 [G#4 > F#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the tower bells would sound</span><br /><strong>A4 A4 A4 G#4 E4 E4</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>So did helm’s deep stood [a fortnight] <Drag & Pause></span><br /><strong>D4 C#4 B3 A#3 B3 [G4 ……]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>'Fore [fall-ing] to the ground!</span><br /><strong>G4 [F#4 > B3] C#4 A3 A#3</strong><br /><br /><strong>Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:</strong><br /><a href=“https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep” target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep</a></blockquote>Your poem needs more TK.


  • Mod

    @Biscuit_buddy:

    Fixed milord.


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