[CLOSED] July Contest - Poems.



  • @DokB:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw

    Lolol oh my this is so good, might as well stop the contest now!



  • @Kimiko:

    @DokB:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw

    Lolol oh my this is so good, might as well stop the contest now!

    That’s it. It’s over. We have a winner. This was so amazing that you officially became the winner for every contest I ever hold.



  • @DokB:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You smell like a woman
    Yabba dabba doo

    I accept paypal donations btw

    ahahahah so far it’s the best we can get but let me join you XD

    Around my head I wrapped
    a yellow bandana,
    then walked into the market
    like an over-sized banana.
    I filled a cart with every
    banana in the store,
    and when I’d gotten all of them
    I headed for the door.



  • SECOND PLACE IS STILL UP FOR GRABS

    –----------------------------------------------

    Oh Lord of crushed skulls
    Bless this righteous maul,
    Unto each knight’s head
    Shall your judgement fall

    Oh Lord of hunting worms
    Bless for me this zweihander
    To smoke out all archers
    To strike them down with candor

    Oh Lord of overpowering
    Bless for me this brandistock
    They thought they had me cornered
    But got a 180 in their buttock

    Oh Lord of the Farcical
    Relieve my bardiche of its guilt
    Why hit them with the blade
    When I can kill them with the hilt



  • FFA
    Sanguine streaks stain sand
    In the max ragdoll count wake
    HalBerd is the Word

    .45
    Talons set to maim
    Eschewed for bitchslapping swings
    All hail Balancestock

    V Spam
    Dodge dip duck dive and
    Dodge arrow and attacker
    Out of stam. Oh shit.

    Duels
    It feels like no one plays the official duel mode. Why did it get the Shaft?



  • I had no idea this existed. Here’s my poem that I just extracted from a post I did yesterday trying to encapsulate the average forum poster’s perspective on things.

    **
    DerpKing’s Lament**

    _**Woe is me, woe is me.

    They done nerfed my spear’s LMB.

    The knockback’s been changed, how will I fare?

    I threatened to quit be they don’t seem to care!

    Why won’t they listen? I spent a whole week,

    Perfecting my lookdowns to demolish the meek.

    How can I pubstomp if I can’t combo-feint?

    Game is so slow, competitive this ain’t.

    And now customization, is this TF2?

    Microtransactions!? What next will they do!?

    The end is at hand, good riddance I say

    I don’t want pink knights, do you hear me? That’s gay!**_



  • The smoke finally rises to the top leaves of the darkforest, and no enemies near or far,

    With the broadsword in hand I wonder “How long do I have to push this damn cart?”

    Rolling down the meadow’s path with everyone on edge,

    Peering over every bush, around every tree, behind every hedge,

    A chill shudders down my spine with that dreadful sound that I hear,

    The close running footsteps of enemies coming from the rear,

    Must turn quickly, adversaries we must face,

    As we all engage the battle picks up the pace,

    Vanquish one down, two down, and then I look a little farther,

    Frozen in place and guess what I see, another fucking archer!

    Now the gurgling sound of the blood rushing out my throat, becomes my lullaby,

    OBJECTIVE FAILED, scream at my screen, rage quit, fuck it, goodbye till next time.



  • User has won!





  • I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)



  • @Calos112:

    I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

    Are you calling my poem a joke? :x How dare you.



  • Definitely not a joke thread or this thread would have been closed already.

    Some people just like to keep things like and “interesting” :P



  • @DokB:

    @Calos112:

    I hope this wasn’t a joking thread, since then I would feel like an idiot :)

    Are you calling my poem a joke? :x How dare you.

    No I was talking about everyone else’s not yours ofcourse :D



  • This is my actual serious poem entry:<br />Fortnight at Helm’s Deep<br />By: User.<br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Grey oh grey, [Abo-ve] the [ro -ses]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4> E4] B3 [D4>C#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Roaring thunder, [stri - king] low</span><br /><strong>A3 E4 [ E4 > D4 > F#3 ] B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Wrought in iron, [cla-ded] [bro-thers]</span><br /><strong>E3 E3 E4 [E4 > D4 > G#3] [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Standing fierce, as [da-n-ger] [gr-ow]</span><br /><strong>G3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 > C#4 ] [ B3 > A#3 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>There among-st them, [S-i-re] [Bis-cuit]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4 > E4 > B3 ] [ D4 > C#4 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Who had <em>killed </em>thrice [fo-ld] <em>his team</em></span><br /><strong>A3 A3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 ] F#3 B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Ever vigil [to] his [out-post]</span><br /><strong>E3 E4 [E4 > D4] G#3 [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the [ma-son] [for-ces] [Br-im]</span><br /><strong>G3 G3 [ D4 > E4 ] [D4 > C#4] [B3 > A#3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>And the gates held [sh-ut] to [Mal-ric]</span><br /><strong>F#4 F#4 B4 B4 [ B4 > A4 ] D#4 [G#4 > F#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the tower bells would sound</span><br /><strong>A4 A4 A4 G#4 E4 E4</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>So did helm’s deep stood [a fortnight] <Drag & Pause></span><br /><strong>D4 C#4 B3 A#3 B3 [G4 ……]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>'Fore [fall-ing] to the ground!</span><br /><strong>G4 [F#4 > B3] C#4 A3 A#3</strong><br /><br /><strong>Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:</strong><br /><a href=“https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep” target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep</a><br /><br /><strong>Per sire biscuits request, the poem was added with more TK.</strong>



  • @User:

    Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:
    https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep

    I think you need to record yourself singing it FTW



  • @gregcau:

    I would when it would be contest of singing your own poems.
    Thankfully enough its just about writing a poem so I wrote one.



  • <small>@User:</small><br><blockquote>This is my actual serious poem entry:<br />Fortnight at Helm’s Deep<br />By: User.<br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Grey oh grey, [Abo-ve] the [ro -ses]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4> E4] B3 [D4>C#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Roaring thunder, [stri - king] low</span><br /><strong>A3 E4 [ E4 > D4 > F#3 ] B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Wrought in iron, [cla-ded] [bro-thers]</span><br /><strong>E3 E3 E4 [E4 > D4 > G#3] [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Standing fierce, as [da-n-ger] [gr-ow]</span><br /><strong>G3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 > C#4 ] [ B3 > A#3 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>There among-st them, [S-i-re] [Bis-cuit]</span><br /><strong>B3 B3 F#4 [F#4 > E4 > B3 ] [ D4 > C#4 ]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Who had lost thrice [fo-ld] o’ men</span><br /><strong>A3 A3 E4 E4 [ E4 > D4 ] F#3 B3 </strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>Ever vigil [to] his [out-post]</span><br /><strong>E3 E4 [E4 > D4] G#3 [C#4 > B3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the [ma-son] [for-ces] [rei-gn]</span><br /><strong>G3 G3 [ D4 > E4 ] [D4 > C#4] [B3 > A#3]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>And the gates held [sh-ut] to [Mal-ric]</span><br /><strong>F#4 F#4 B4 B4 [ B4 > A4 ] D#4 [G#4 > F#4]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>As the tower bells would sound</span><br /><strong>A4 A4 A4 G#4 E4 E4</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>So did helm’s deep stood [a fortnight] <Drag & Pause></span><br /><strong>D4 C#4 B3 A#3 B3 [G4 ……]</strong><br /><br /><span style=“font-size:7px”>'Fore [fall-ing] to the ground!</span><br /><strong>G4 [F#4 > B3] C#4 A3 A#3</strong><br /><br /><strong>Added simple piano roll to help sing along at link below:</strong><br /><a href=“https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep” target="_blank">https://soundcloud.com/garmagor/fortnight-helmsdeep</a></blockquote>Your poem needs more TK.



  • @Biscuit_buddy:

    Fixed milord.



  • @User:

    @Biscuit_buddy:

    Fixed milord.

    Well done peasant.



  • The humble MAA.

    After I’ve run you through, next is your mother!
    A cruel taunt from the MAA I thought was my brother
    I feint combo’d with all my rage
    but he just dodged from my engage
    and ran off and taunted another.


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