The Spice of Life

  • Let us share some awkward moments in an attempt at Knightly bonding, shall we?

    That moment you get ready to rip a legendary fart and get more than you bargained for.

    Or what about when you walk into Mc Dick’s and order a Big Mac. You’re waiting patiently for a few minutes and your food shows up. Guy passes it to you and says “enjoy” and without thinking, you shoot back with “you too”. Shit I mean “thanks man” fuckfuckfuck get out now CODE RED!

    Walking towards Tim Hortons, dick in a BMW cuts me off and flies into the parking lot, so I start fast walking thinking “no way he’s cutting me off like that”. Speed right past him as he’s heading for the door and I get the dirtiest of dirty looks. Don’t hold the door for him or anything. When I order my coffee, I see him go back behind the counter and start talking to the employees while giving me more looks. Oh shit, he must be the manager. watch coffee intently for any signs of foul play. Don’t go back to that timmies again, imagine he has a picture of me that says “spit in this guy’s coffee”.

  • cool story tell us more

    no srsly funny i almost laughed

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  • It was quite amusing really. The chief misses you in the fog ;p

  • U guise gotta share your own awkward moments, that’s how this thing works. Loin you must have some funneh stories about miscommunication. Crushed, you must contriboot ma brotha.

    One time I had to watch over my friend, because he wanted to try some mushrooms. The magic kind. Anyway, we’re walking to Metro to get some food and drinks, get in and out fine. Mushrooms hit him on the way back. We come to an intersection we have to cross, friend says “Yo, where did this creek come from man”. Total wtf moment. I said it’s not a creek, it’s a road. We gotta cross the walk signal is on. He doesn’t want to get wet, so I walk halfway across and wait for him to follow me. He does the high-stepping, wading through water walk while everyone stares at us. Next time we get to an intersection I decide we’ll detour around it to avoid more confusion. Little hike through some woods, come to an actual creek. Now he’s freaking out because the bridge is badly maintained and we have to jump it. Long story short, he almost drowned in 6 inches of water and hasn’t had any more shrooms.

  • I posted one in the canadacoolcats thread. About this nasty black cat that crossed my path

  • taken a shit in every single hotel room where I work. this is not a joke

    that’s 92 rooms, plus meeting room, common bathrooms and employee bathrooms for a total of 96 total restrooms dominated.

    room 227 held out the longest, it was the IP MAN of restrooms and always had a guest in it. When it went out of order because of maintenance, I thought for sure it was my time. but it was the TOILET that was out of order. rats!

    it evaded me several times, but 227 eventually succumbed to the wrath of my cheeks

    the entire project took just under a year to complete and was quite the accomplishment. i now just use the common restroom like everyone else, but I remember the days when there was something more… a dream… i was warrior on the porcelain battlefield that wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer! i remember the honor, the exhilaration and thrill of defeating another bowl. i remember my duty… i remember…

    looks off into distance


    those days are long gone

  • You need to find the CEO’s wc or Top boss and make a real statement tbh.

  • was just a experiment tbpc

    wasnt sitting on the pot being vindictive or anything, just dropping kids off at the pool.

    now it becomes a fun story for you and one you can pass on to your children

  • The awkward moment when you pull over to pick up a hitchhiker but end up hitting the curb at 80 kilometres an hour instead. Blowing up the tire and shattering the wheel. The axle was luckily fine but the look on the guys face. He thought I was trying to kill him. He did not help me fit the spare wheel he just walked down the road a bit more and hoped to get picked up by someone else. Bloody Germans.

  • I thought those mountain bikes were more sturdy then that tbh.

  • @loin:

    I thought those mountain bikes were more sturdy then that tbh.

    Well it is called Mitsubushi Chariot.

  • Pretty successful thread so far, we’ve got bad drivers, mushroom trips, and the guy who could shit anywhere. Let’s keep it going. I too enjoy shitting in various places of business and retail. Nothing says capitalism like the combined smells of frebreeze and poop. How bout when you trip and recover, but it looked fucky, so you walk like that for a few steps to make it look intentional.

  • I once slipped over walking down a steep hill when it was icy weather, ended up sliding all the way down on my ass, luckily it was dark, so I don’t think anyone saw me.

  • @gndo:

    I once slipped over walking down a steep hill when it was icy weather, ended up sliding all the way down on my ass, luckily it was dark, so I don’t think anyone saw me.

    Style points. Once I slipped in ice and went down hard on my ass bone. No one saw so I limped on, ass sore but pride intact. When I got back to my house I slipped in the driveway and this time the neighbours saw me. Limped inside with my pride destroyed but my ass intact.

    One time I was walking at night and an old homeless guy walked up to me out of an alley. Already thinking he’s gonna stab me anyway, I say Hey hows it going. He proceeds to mumble about whacky tobaccy and cocaine. I gave him $5 and got the fuck outta there. I looked back a couple blocks later and he was still following me, but then I realised he was just going to the LCBO. If you don’t know what an LCBO is, it’s where you buy liquor here in Canada. You can’t just go to walmart and get some whiskey and a handgun like in America.

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