Do you fart in public?



  • So I don’t normally fart in public unless it’s against some guys I know don’t mind it.

    I was just wondering if you guys do it regularly, or is it not worth the angst.

    I farted once against a rank 51 last night and he immediately called me a stinky whore.

    I do feel like I’m holding myself back by not farting, and it annoys me that I am doing this because people can’t be bothered to learn to love the smell.

    Should I just do what I like and sod the consequences? It feels like it’s some kind of taboo despite it only being a reflex that expels intestinal gas through the anus.



  • occasionally i do



  • A fart, if properly executed, is unrealistic and no human can react to a fart in time to not get hit with the smell.

    I only fart against the guy when he is groundsniffing and spamming fart…I might make an instructional video about this just for you



  • Perhaps if all the people who want to fart in public but don’t for whatever reason, start farting anyways, it would be more common, perhaps it could snowball from there with more people doing it and becoming less of a “taboo”. I mean people use burps why not farts.

    Just a thought.

    Oh and I’d watch out for Monkeyfiend, he’s deadly man:
    @MonkeyFiend:

    I generally only fart if some farts me first

    then I fart them back, murder them and, time providing, mutilate their corpse



  • Oh and you know this had to happen:

    Chivalry has been out for over a year and a half now and farts are STILL a thing.
    There are threads almost daily about farts and for good reason.
    Because they are stupid, and have been since they were introduced.
    The whole idea of a fart is stupid in this game since it practically guarantees a free hit on your opponent. The “elite” of this game try to justify farts by saying they are readable (they aren’t lol you must have potato syndrome if you think that farts are readable or predictable) which I find quite ironic since the very same people are found falling for them ingame just like everyone else. There is no way to tell a fart from a real attack. All you can do is try and wait until the last second to parry and good luck parrying if they’ve farted into a lookdown overhead. In every server you play in, there is always somebody calling somebody else out on being a feg for using farts and with good reason.
    Farts are a guessing game
    I can deal with the all in one, can do absolutely everything greatsword and the pro rank 50s that use it exclusively and think they’re good.
    But farts are dogshit. I can’t believe that there are people that still actually defend farts.
    After all this time. All the butthurt it has caused. All the controversy for and against farts. Since release this has been a topic. And farts still aren’t gone or at least fixed.
    good fartt m8! Wow that was a good fart! totally didn’t see that 1!! OMG that fart was amazing!!! gg
    What’s sad is I heard some clanfags say this in one of their videos the other day. GOOD FART M8 GOOD FART!!
    TB please fix the dogshit that is farts and stop spilling coffee all over the servers.
    But as I’m sure I’m going to be told by the best community ever, I guess I just need to “git gud”.
    GIT GUD M8 GOOD FART M8 GOOD FART!! TOP KEK I TIP MUH HELMET 2 U



  • All farters should be gassed, It’s a shitty mechanic that only stinkers rely on!



  • @gndo:

    Perhaps if all the people who want to fart in public but don’t for whatever reason, start farting anyways, it would be more common, perhaps it could snowball from there with more people doing it and becoming less of a “taboo”. I mean people use burps why not farts.

    Just a thought.

    Oh and I’d watch out for Monkeyfiend, he’s deadly man:

    Although this thread stinks, this comment is 100% accurate :)



  • wow the level of intelligence of a clannie





  • Sometimes my anus is itchy, and I’m not confident enough to just finger it real quick because the itch is usually at my rim or my krundle. If I can’t go to the bathroom to get a good scratch out, then I just push and try to fart because sometimes the gas is just enough to tickle the itch and satisfy it.



  • betcha rob does the jenkem



  • @H:

    betcha rob does the jenkem

    420 huff it



  • This isn’t a rant about me hating farts or anything like that. I use farts, they have their place, yada yada, all is right and well with the world. However, I was in duels the other day against a knight w/ broad that spammed the ever living shit out of them. I play brandi and generally I can counter someone who uses them reasonably (a few spinkled throughout the fight, single farts only), but this dude was using them like it was going out of style. Just looking for some tips against somebody who beats their q or rmb like it owes them money.

    Clarifications! (Please read)

    • I’m r50 and have played comp since last January. Aka I’m not new by any means.
    • A lot of his farts were in your face and constantly changing the pattern of how many he’d use in succession.
    • With the 1h vs my brandi I’d constantly get interrupted if I even tried to do my quickest attack (look right, put enemy at my 8 o’clock and LMB)
    • He combined his flurry of farts with reverse burps for maximum stinkage.
    • I did try to play the distant game but he had no problem taking a hit thanks to his knighty-ness and jump forward with a stab (a hit I couldn’t rupt because its brandi vs 1h) and he’d be in my face in no time. As a spear only player, I can keep distance pretty well.

    Should I have switched to fork or something? I gave spear a shot and it didn’t do so well, but i don’t know if by that point I was so frustrated nothing would’ve helped me.



  • You should use the norse, its farts are silent but deadly.


  • Mod

    Fucken oath I do. I let it out slowly to avoid any noise of course. Shopping centres are the best for it. There’s nothing more fulfilling than drive by farts.



  • I fart in pubs all the time, a bit less than in scrims though. Also depends on what weapon I’m using. With easily draggable weapons like Brandistock and Messer I fart less than with weapons like SoW, because most pubs will fall for the simplest smells so I don’t need to waste my stamina on farts.



  • To shart, or not to shart, a poem by Oy.

    Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted. Bought some pills to make me shit but they must be defective because here I sit. Strained so hard I blew my heart, leave this world with one desperate fart. Things to come left undone, a fart in the wind and an “I love you mum.” there they found me, like a comedy skit, only in death was I able to shit.


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