Serious Business



  • I just got a few suggestions to improve the quality of this decapitation simulator.

    1. When a Vanguard does an unarmed charge attack, he should scream FALCON! PAUNCH!
    2. There should be a weapon called the Zwieberd, this is a halberd with a Zwiehander on the end.
    2b. There should also be triple-headed maul flails. I have made an art to demonstrate this:

    ! [attachment=0:2fl2895c]Maulflail.JPG[/attachment:2fl2895c]
    3. As soon as someone chooses Archer, his face explodes turns into butterflies. The resulting faceless monstrosity then lurches around the map, looking for the man who killed his wife and cost him his job at the Department of Corrections. He is bent on revenge. Starring Bruce Willis.
    4. 3 kills unlocks UAV, 4 kills unlocks care package, 7 kills unlocks Trebuchet barrage.
    5. Knight has a random chance when jumping to get daggers for legs and spears for arms.
    6. MAA can do a barrel roll.
    7. Vanguard is a fish and is also on fire.
    8. All maps are loaded with invisible insta-death barriers to balance moving. People who move are OP.
    9. Using a double-axe turns you into a crazy screaming Austrian. Aaauuugh.

    These are just some of my ideas. Let me know if any of them are upcoming and I will wait by my mailbox for the check.



  • If they put in the falcon punch I will personally congratulate the nearest developer as being the part of the most awesome devs on the planet…

    Better be a dev in europe, otherwise it would be a very expensive congratulatory action :D



  • You lost me at 5



  • Have to admit I lolled at the zweiberd and mail flail.

    How about a piggyback archer, who shoots at anyone near? (friend or foe)

    Also a Vangberd? This is a halberd with a Vanguard on the end, holding a halberd…



  • @BobT36:

    How about a piggyback archer, who shoots at anyone near? (friend or foe)

    Also a Vangberd? This is a halberd with a Vanguard on the end, holding a halberd…

    These are both fantastic suggestions. I’m glad to see someone with brains and good ideas is moderating these forums. I’m also glad to see you’re taking these concepts seriously. TB should add Javistocks. These are Brandistocks but thrown like javelins. Archer can put them in his mouth, building pressure, and launching them at his enemies at velocities exceeding 150 kph. I think the piggyback archer should have 6 arms, each with a sling. And what if the Vanberd is dual wielding halberds and has a maul for a body?



  • @Metrocop:

    You lost me at 5

    I’m surprised you made it past 3.



  • To fix that annoying missing siege Ongar on LTS nonsense; replace the ammo box with a toolbox and fix it so players can cut down trees and build their own.



  • While we’re discussing incredibly crucial additions to Chivalry…

    Along with the Zweiberd, we also need

    THE DREIHANDER

    !

    I honestly don’t know what the devs were thinking adding silly things like FLAILS and POLEHAMMERS when they were missing such a crux of medieval weaponry from day one.



  • A failed attempt at being funny. Jokes would be good if they didn’t involve the imagination of a 5 year-old.



  • I’m still laughing imagining a fish on fire running around with a zweiberd on his back screaming FALCON PUNCH. And then explodes after hitting an anti-move barrier.



  • @lemonater47:

    I’m still laughing imagining a fish on fire running around with a zweiberd on his back screaming FALCON PUNCH. And then explodes after hitting an anti-move barrier.

    Second time around and I’m laughing again; seems that my five year old self is still alive and kicking, praise God.



  • @havz0r:

    A failed attempt at being funny. Jokes would be good if they didn’t involve the imagination of a 5 year-old.

    If you don’t like it, gtfo, we’re all enjoying ourselves and loling. Didn’t your mother ever tell you if you’ve got nothing nice to say, then get back in the basement?

    @lemonater47:

    I’m still laughing imagining a fish on fire running around with a zweiberd on his back screaming FALCON PUNCH. And then explodes after hitting an anti-move barrier.

    Or an MMA barrel-rolling away from a tactical trebuchet barrage, then getting fucked up by a triple-headed maul flail.



  • M’Kay.

    XD



  • Maulfail and no Slaughtervomit? :?



  • @ReMixx:

    Maulfail and no Slaughtervomit? :?

    I just woke up… I’m here… I fully support the idea for a triple headed maul flail (of course)…

    I also think polehammers should be like really long mauls so I can sprint attack and 1 shot most classes as they explode into a red cloud of guts and blood.



  • A polehammer with a grenade as a head. When you hit someone it explodes and paints the whole area red



  • I’m wanting a triple headed Slaughtervomit Maul Flail



  • Aha, so the thread lives. My ideas must be getting through to some people. Anyone think they should add Javistocks, Maul bows or Velociraptors? I have made an art of my Archer buff concept:

    ! [attachment=0:2tlgyzg3]untitled.JPG[/attachment:2tlgyzg3]



  • Brilliant concept art, and I fully support Javistocks.

    Hire this guy!



  • @BobT36:

    Brilliant concept art, and I fully support Javistocks.

    Hire this guy!

    I appreciate the feedback. I may need someone to playtest drivable catapults that shoot dead peasants.


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