4. Nicknames for Weapons

Nicknames for Weapons

  • D

    I noticed I was starting to give nicknames to many of the weapons in this game, in my head as well as in conversations with my buddies. So, I’d like to share them with you and I’m also curious if and which names you have for your tools of death.

    From the top of my head:

    Zweihänder: The Great Equalizer / Hedge Trimmer

    Claymore: Slaymore

    Double Axe: Fly Swatter

    Grand Mace: Baseball Bat

    Poleaxe: Swiss Army Knife

    Cudgel: Walking Stick

    Messer: The Guillotine

    Any Dagger: Kitchen Knife

    Morning Star: Lollipop

    Maul: The Mjölnir / The Doomhammer / The Slow-Mo

    Warhammer: The One Hand Mjölnir / The Knightslayer / Can Opener

    Javelin: Toothpick

    Bardiche: Screensweeper

    Dane Axe: One Hand Halberd

    Flanged Mace: Skullcrusher / Facehugger / Helmet-Hunter

    Sword Of War: How does this need a nickname? Its a Sword. Of >>War<<.

    Spear: Threading Needle

    Brandistock: Trident

    Halberd: Death on a Stick / Sweep ‘n’ Stab

    Hatchet: The Woodchuck

    Tower Shield: Walking Door

    Flame Pots: Frags / Fireballs / Candlelights / Knight’s Aftershave

    Smoke Pots: The Dramatic Entrance / The Darkwing-Ducks / Archer-X

    Longsword: The Classic

    Broad Dagger: Shovel

    Falchion: Butcher’s Knive

    Norse Sword: The Where Did It Go?

    Hunting Knive: The Cruel Joke

    The Holy Water Sprinkler: The Pine Cone / The Slapping Cactus

    The Fork: Poking Stick

    Torch: Cigarette Lighter

    Fists: The Bitchslap / Trolling Mode / The Rocky Balboa / The Dual Mace / The Helping Hand / Man’s Best Friend / The Peasantstomper / The Ducking Trainer / The Paintrain / Tons of other lame pun names

    Fists with Vanguard Charge:
    The
    FAAAAAALCOOON
    PWWWWWNCHHH!

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  • S

    I have dubbed my faithful Pole Axe, Azzagoth!

    Dost thou writhe in jealousy?

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  • W

    I always thought of my halberd as the Broom of Doom, back when I had a strict axethetics-policy.
    Due to how slow the stab looks in first person, it looked like my character was pushing with very little force…. Or sweeping.

    My brief run of beta berding renamed it the Golfer Glory.

    My Hatchet has been the Wand of Destruction (Due to explosive hatchet headstabs.)

    My Fists have been Meatsticks.

    My War axe, in my flying foot era was named “Womanizinazer” for my hobby of crouching lookdown overheads with it after a jumpkick. Referential to the removal of anything they had down there, and the replacement of it with an axe shaped hole.

    My Dane axe has always been my Psycho-Stick… (Due to its alt Overhead… Looking Psychotic due to its speed and rhythm.)

    My foot is used with Flying Foot Walrus Style, in true Walrus Style.

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  • S

    At least you didn’t make fun of my beloved Broad Sword!

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  • P

    Shortbow = Doom of Mosquitos
    Longbow = Paper arrow thrower
    Warbow = Wooden torpedo launcher

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  • K

    I call my maul Huvud Kross :)

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  • S

    I’ve taking a liking to calling my falchion “Chop chop”, my dane axe “Headsplitter”, my maul “Painbringer” and my spear I’ve named “>Implying”

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  • ?

    Grand mace = Love truncheon

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  • I call my maul “The Bulldog”.

    Because I yell at my friends in mumble “You just got mauled by THE BULLDOG!”.

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